We are trying to combine traditional family values with new opportunities that the electronic age provides us, and sometimes we do not realize that everything is not the same as before.
We need to get used to the fact that the information revolution leaves its mark on the way we live, think, meet, and even change. I want to talk about virtual betrayal and its consequences. How a meaningless chat can lead to tragedy.
The computer changes our life very much – it also changes how we cheat on our spouses. If earlier for a married man the establishment of personal relationships was associated with certain difficulties and requirements of conspiracy, the computer eased this problem. With its help, you can quickly get to know anyone on the planet who is present in cyberspace.
By clicking the mouse several times and writing a few lines of text, you find a new acquaintance. The wife is in the kitchen and does not realize that you are writing tenderness to a lady who can be either in a neighboring house or on the other side of the planet. And you are already completely absorbed in your new acquaintance.
The beauty of communicating with this creature is that you can exchange photos almost instantly and even start a sexually explicit conversation – cyberspace will endure everything. But cyberspace is insidious – that’s what I want to talk about today.
The Stages and Aspects of Virtual Cheating
First, you select an object. And, even if you didn’t decide to get to know you or not, this decision can be made for you – after checking your mailbox in the morning, you may not resist and enter into correspondence with the person who wrote to you first.
Then comes the stage of Internet addiction to your new acquaintance. You expect a letter from Bulgarian Escort all the time. Heartbeats faster when the mail demon is triggered – here it is!
Your spouse has no idea what is happening to you and what kind of threat is hanging over your relationship – a little more time will pass and this plastic box full of microcircuits and printed circuit boards will shatter all your relationships.
We do not think that the joy of communication in the virtual space can turn into serious disappointments in the real world – both for you and for those close to you.
But you don’t think about it yet. Your virtual cheating becomes an integral part of your life. This is where the biggest danger lies. The person with whom you communicate and who “seems to” exist, but so far he is presented in the form of photographs (cute), letters (romantic), and dreams of a bright future together. In reality, you have never met her, you do not know how she smells, how she gestures, and what the real timbre of her voice is. This is the insidiousness of cyberspace – a person can imagine himself as he wants to be. The computer is a great deceiver: as soon as you believe in all these bytes and bits, it becomes quite easy to lose your mind. A little more time passes, and you fall in love with this creature completely unfamiliar to you.
No, you are not fooling yourself – you truly believe it
But what – you are dealing with an ideal person, devoid of any flaws. The wife becomes something annoying, an outsider – in no way comparable to the angel who regularly writes to you. Online cheating, which actually happened when you first swapped your photos with a mysterious stranger, is starting to materialize.
A few more days or weeks will pass and the virtual space begins to have a direct impact on the real space.
You start to ignore your spouse more, spend less time together and swear more and more often. In the next stage – you transfer virtual communication to the real plane. The first time you call your new friend and hear her voice. Your heart skips a beat – her voice is absolutely angelic. And then you decide – “Here, at last, is the person whom I really love” – you convince yourself. On the same day, you confess your love to her. Then you pack your things, explain to your wife that you no longer love her, and leave.
The Reality Waiting on the Other Side of the Channel
You come to a neighboring house or come to another city. You rush headlong towards her and immediately throw yourself into bed. Virtual betrayal has become real. You thank the Internet for allowing this to happen. But along with the joys come the first disappointments – she, say, does not have such a small belly, which you saw in the photo sent – it has grown significantly.
Then you notice that the angelic character, which seemed to you simply heavenly compared to the character of your wife, is far from the same. One day you wake up next to your Internet chosen one and realize that this is a complete stranger. You start to get annoyed with the simplest little things, those that you did not know about when you were texting – the smell, the shape of the legs, for example. You understand that you fell in love not with a real woman, but with her ideal image, which has little in common with this woman. She just presented herself as she would like to be.
Suddenly, you begin to yearn for your legal wife, with whom you have already filed for divorce, and she ceases to seem so terrible to you.
The Instant End of the Relationship
And now you are dialing your wife’s phone number. You understand that she is a wonderful person and ask her forgiveness. Swear that if she lets you return, you will never repeat what happened again. When your Bolton escorts‘ online friend comes home, you look at her as a sworn enemy – after all, it was she who ruined your whole life, spoke, persuaded, introduced herself as completely different from what she really is. Outraged by all this, you tell her everything you think about her – all heavenly relationships end in one second.
The Lightning Speed of the Beginning and the Lightning Speed of the End
Now you have one enemy. She answers rudely, now you are sure for sure – she is the worst thing that you have ever met in your life. But you can also understand her – she liked you. She was so pleased with this relationship that for her it was like a bolt from the blue. She doesn’t want you to leave and wants you to stay with her. But you realized that family is sacred, that family is the most important thing in this life. She cannot understand why – after all, it was still good, she renounces for life to meet married men – for her, you have become the most terrible manifestation of this virtual world. But you no longer care how much pain you caused her – after all, everything was so simple – clicked the mouse, clicked two – sometimes someone has to pay very seriously for the ease of online dating. She is not to blame for the fact that she had to become a victim of the dullness of your family relationships, and the ease of acquaintance allowed you and your spouse to shake up your relationship and start from a new line.
The Ease of Acquaintance May Have to Pay Dearly
At home, your wife meets you, and a day later she does not even remember what happened – after all, for her, this mistress was purely virtual – she never met her life. A few more weeks will pass and all this will be forgotten – the peculiarity of online dating is that they are perceived as something completely optional, something that can be ignored because they come easily and just as easily and go away.
And that girl will remember for a long time about the strange young man who appeared so suddenly, but just as suddenly disappeared. And who is to blame for the fact that they had a relationship in the virtual, and not in the real world. Maybe in the real world, they would never have looked at each other! We are already half living in the virtual world and for us, accustomed to the keyboard and the display, it seems that everything in life should be just as easy – clicked the mouse – a girl appeared, clicked on the cross at the top – the girl disappeared.
Now it remains to erase in memory everything that is connected with it, although here it is a little more difficult, but still not impossible. It was a collection of bytes, then materialized and returned again to some completely different reality, not connected in any way with you. And what to do – this is the specificity of our time, our era. I think that a few more years will pass and dating on the Internet will die out and our children will only meet in the real world since they will well understand that virtual dating begins easily, but can end sadly and terribly.