Buying a sex toy for your girlfriend can be a good idea, as long as you know how to choose the right one and find the perfect timing. The average sex shop has hundreds of options for you to choose from, but your gift can be a hit or miss and, unfortunately, it’s not the thought that counts. To avoid an argument and make sure your gift is well received, follow this simple guide:

How long have you been together?

The first sex toy should obviously be bought only after you’ve become sexually comfortable with each other and you’ve tried more than the basics. Sex at the beginning of the relationship can be a bit awkward, so adding in a sex toy could make it even more so. Buy her a sex toy that you know she can use, not something incredibly experimental. For example, if you’ve never had anal, beads and butt plugs are not the best ideas, because she’ll probably feel pressured and get mad at you. Niche toys, such as BDSM ones, should also be avoided if you’re not 100% sure that she’ll like them. In this case, it’s better to be safe than sorry, so wait for your sexual relationship to evolve before you buy her the kinkiest toys in the sex shop.

Small vibrators – the safest choice

Women’s vibrators are excellent entry level sex toys, because they’re not intimidating at all. On the contrary, they’re cute, discrete and they can be used by your girlfriend for her own pleasure. If she’s never use a sex toy before, jumping straight to huge dildos and BDSM kits can be quite strange, so make the transition smoother by buying her a small G-spot vibrator. It’s perfect for self-exploration, will help her build confidence and encourage her to try more advanced toys in the future.

When it doubt, ask her

Men somehow believe that sex toys should be a complete surprise, but they don’t have to. In fact, it’s better to ask than go with your gut and disappoint. You don’t have to be very obvious about it, you can simply slip a question about sex toys into the conversation and find out what she would and wouldn’t try. Another idea is to go to a sex shop together and pick toys together.

What if she likes sex toys?

If you’ve been together for a long time and your relationship needs some spicing up, or if she’s very sexually open minded, then all you have to do is find a cheap, reliable online store and go to town. There are hundreds of amazing sex toys for couples that you can choose from. Dildos are an all-time-favorite, but you can add a strap-on or bondage kit into the mix as well. If you’re feeling particularly daring, you can even go as far as buying a sex machine or an electro sex toy. No matter what you choose, remember to add a tub of lube into the cart as well, because that will ensure you make the most out of your sex toys.